Middle of February
Overview
I got laid off and I feel like I’ve still been extremely ineffectual at doing anything that matters to me.
This is probably the most depressing 旬 I’ve had in a while. I think losing my home in 2024 and being a vagrant for a few months was far less demoralising than this.
February 11th
I slept like garbage and woke up late. Still managed to eat my usual fare and sync with Serel. He was more inattentive than usual thanks to Tactical Nexus.
February 12th
I met my brother in Bishop Arts for lunch/dinner and to go to an open mic. Successfully wrote a poem for the open mic, but we decided not to attend after all because it was outdoor seating and it was cold as fuck.
February 13th
As it was a Thursday it was back to work for me. I don’t really have much of a recollection of the day beyond that.
February 14th
The 14th was depressing as fuck for a number of reasons. Memories of breaking up with my only gf on Valentine’s Day. General dread about dying alone. Found out that my shift at work was being eliminated but didn’t have any of the details yet. Also seemed to have lost face with a handful of my new friends. Same story different year.
February 15th
I don’t remember much of the 15th at all.
February 16th
I guess the 16th was extremely uneventful as well. Some interesting stuff happened in the Discord server I’m responsible for, but that’s about it.
February 17th
The night of the 16th / morning of the 17th is when I got the actual details of what was happening with my job. Everyone in 3rd shift on both my company’s side and the first party’s (Enterprise Rent-a-car) side was completely eliminated with no prior notice and no options. My company told us that we could move to a different shift or different contract, but after trying to follow up with HR it seems like they’re stonewalling us in the hopes that we fuck off.
Seems like I lost even more face with everyone.
February 18th
The highlights of the 18th are that I successfully transitioned from being nocturnal to being diurnal, and that I once again managed to eat my vegetarian tex-mex slop and spend time with Serel.
February 19th
On the 19th I ended up hanging out with my brother again (this has become a weekly occurance for the first time in a long time) and somehow got white-girl wasted. I’m not much a drinker anymore these days, but I guess it was a special occasion.
Looks like I didn’t even chat much on the 19th. Frankly when I’m putting together my journal entries, I tend to just look at my logs for a given date to refresh my memory on what I was up to.
February 20th
The 20th was another day I was really quiet online. I was extremely hungover and only awake from like 0700 till 1800. I slept for 13 hours and woke up feeling refreshed on the 21st.